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Male foster carers - offer a brilliant experience

Male foster carers provide a much needed version of masculinity

What is it to be a man? For many clients they have very clear ideas, taken from dysfunctional or absent fathers, rappers and ‘road men’ particularly in the case of African and African Caribbean males that the media loves to broadcast.

It is therefore completely predictable that this is leading to brutishness or authoritarian behaviour. I have too many clients either in prison or on their way there, it’s becoming a subconscious destination for too many with some sexual assault along the way.

My clients need to see an alternative to the narrow media representation, to enable them to have confidence in creating their own unique sense of self based on respect for themselves and others, particular females. They need to see real men, not a version of hyper masculinity. They need to see men who work in a range of jobs, they need to see men who respect women and they need to see men who don’t walk around with their trousers under their buttocks.

Male foster carers provide a much needed version of successful male masculinity to a constituency of young males who desperately need it.

What made you want to foster? 

Having supported my late mother fostering, it was something I grew up with and which I thoroughly enjoyed. Watching a child flourish and find comfort in the support a foster carer provides brings me a sense of happiness and purpose. The other work that I do is very strategic and managerial whereas Foster Caring is hands on and that's something I wanted and needed in my life. Fostering is also something I wanted to continue as a legacy and dying wish of my late mother's.  

Challenges

Trying to fully understand the emotional and physical needs of a child can sometime be difficult and will most likely take time. in this period a child can be very disruptive and erratic as a means of exploration and settling in. With time, a consistent approach and support from others, things will improve. 

Rewards

Watching a foster child learn new skills and seeing them thrive at home, in the neighbourhood and at school. knowing and seeing the immeasurable positive impact you have made on a child's life. 

What would you say to another man who wanted to foster?

Do it! if you have the time and space become a foster carer. There's nothing like it. The sense of purpose and reward is unrivalled. some men may feel anxious about being a foster carer but honestly if you have patience and are immensely caring then you'll be great at it. 

Page last updated: 05 July 2022

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