Case studies

Steven's and Marcus's story  

We went to a Southwark Council adoption information session in the autumn of 2008. We were both 35 and although at that stage we knew you could be gay and adopt, we just wanted to find out more about the process because there are many myths surrounding who can adopt.

During the process, we saw a social worker every week for ten weeks. There were lots of discussions, for example about how do you explain to a child about diversity of lifestyles? One of the best things about the meeting was debunking myths. Steve didn't have much experience with young kids and thought that would hamper our application but it didn't.  

Throughout the application process we felt confident that any issues we had could be addressed with our social worker. At first you're not quite sure what to expect and wonder why certain questions are being asked, but you soon form a relationship with the social worker and understand that they are actually there to help you.

At the start of the process, I imagined us adopting an eight or nine-year-old and Marcus envisioned a little four-year-old. Over the course of the process what best suited us changed. We reduced the age we'd originally specified but in the end it was down to getting a good match with Poppy.

If people saw how happy she is they wouldn't question her existence with us. Poppy will not think there's anything weird about us until she's told otherwise, which is why its important to meet other gay parents to normalise the situation.. People ought to think of the other choice, which is that she stay in care her whole life

Our social worker was amazing, she made the perfect match. Southwark have been amazing. We'd really like more children; a little sister or brother for Poppy and we'd certainly go through Southwark again.

Poppy* is a fictional name used to protect the identity of Marcus and Steven's daughter.